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Nothing On Me

I deserve a serial killer romance,

tied to the radiator,

watching my skin peel back,

his knife on this milk flesh,

running the length of my legs,

taking off my outer casing,

my exoskeleton.

he thought he was being clever

when he took me to his lair

he didn’t know

that I was begging for this

the whole time.

the things I want him to do

in his sickest most tortured dreams

he could never imagine.

I want him to break me

I want him to beat me

I want him to shatter my knee caps

throw me into bathroom stall walls

use that lead pipe on my face

send shrapnel of my bashed nose

deep into my brain

I’m not a Catholic, but I want to burn in hell

I want him to pour kerosene on my naked body

I want him to light the match

that melts my skin

I want to feel the flames

I want punishment and retribution for my sins

please sir, pull my nails out with your pliers

curb stomp my open mouth

kick this lying worthless head

take it apart, please take me apart

please cut me up

snap my fingers

dismember my form

mutilate me

I want my outside to reflect my inside

to be as ugly as I feel

gouge my eyes

scoop them with a spoon

straight razor my breasts

take out the pieces that make me woman

hacksaw at the wrist bone

shred this flesh, shred this girl

I want you to break me

I want you to digest me

I want to be spit out

show the world the blackest heart

by cracking the rib cage

releasing vital organs

use me as kibble and bits

shove this arm through a mountain town wood chipper

please, I’m begging you to make me so small

so unrecognizable

so destroyed

that no one will ever know,

these scraps,

this bloody cartilage and bone

was a human being

no one could hate me

like I hate myself

I’ve made it an art form

I am the Cezanne of self-depreciation

you have nothing on me,

any of you

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About deadendemily

Emily lives in Austin, TX. She has a minor in chaos and a major in spray paint. She likes Vincent Price and ABBA. She enjoys being covered in fake blood and writing horror stories. Most of the time she just hopes that her cat is not plotting to murder her, her cat being a minion of Satan and all. They would never suspect the cat.

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