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How I Do

what can i give you, a clock, a look, a piece of locket from my grandmother’s burea?
how will you remember me when this is all over?
will we be passed out naked in my bed watching black and white movies?
or crumpled at the bottom of a staircase looking up into plaster heaven.
i pour the drinks you take the wheel you cut my hand i refuse to feel
the evidence is in the days when we were apart
collages of memories, pieces of torn fabric, egg shell from breakfast in bed
you moved towards me you took off my shirt
i backed up to the bed i undid your pants
two eyes can say so much more than lips
you see me naked in my misery in my love and apathy you know me
sharp shooter sights turned on you
will we make it through this field of tall wheat grass
deer in the meadow, aim trained on us
i wished for you every night, i spoke to the higher powers
i begged like there was nothing else in the world
and i wouldnt take it back
not one kiss, one fuck, one two step in the rain
singing outloud in your car we are each other’s long lost temptation
i wrote you poems you played guitar in a dark room
we said we would never fall in love, that we would never leave
no broken hearts, no razor blade romances with trains screaming our names
one day i knew id broken my promise
the day i saw you with that girl, the day i died
so what am i now without you to define me
just a line on a page that was torn out of my book
placed in the ashtray to burn for you

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About deadendemily

Emily lives in Austin, TX. She has a minor in chaos and a major in spray paint. She likes Vincent Price and ABBA. She enjoys being covered in fake blood and writing horror stories. Most of the time she just hopes that her cat is not plotting to murder her, her cat being a minion of Satan and all. They would never suspect the cat.

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