four hands. and that was all. kitchen counter look at me. knees up and im not scared anymore. vulnerable but still a biting lover. i wounded myself for you. when you looked me in the eyes silver rivers with black mascara that was the real girl. summer dresses in color. putting up black curtains. us in park dream of our future love, my scars love, the harsh unrelenting stars of truthful irony in my tormented mouth sucking on yours. loving hot breath living fast movements real holes in sanctuary dropping the walls so high, breaking berlin, crumbling her defences, she was never anything but scared and shivering. so pale that her eyes looked like a pair of coals in a snowstorm. translucent hairs on her arm standing on end when you whispered on the back of her neck. shes a rotten girl, but she wanted to be so pure for you. she cut away the bad parts. just so that you could eat a sweet fruit. dont leave her again. feet in the drive way running to the tone of dials in the morning unanswered voices begging for more. wheres that car wheres our heaven, wheres that star. theres the knee scar drop in early morning abandon. and the exhaust fumes let her know hes not coming back.